So I haven't blogged in two years...

I never blog. I don't know why I make these things. I mean, it's not like anyone actually reads it. But oh well, it gives me something to do and it's theraputic.

Well, starting another summer. Working this time at the YMCA here in Point, where I am staying in my apartment. I really like my job and it's good experience working with chilren so I hope that makes up for the cut in both hours and pay. Not too many people around this summer. A hazard of being a senior is many of your friends up and graduate on you. Also, they go home for better jobs and rent-free living.

Adam, my amazing boyfriend, is gone home for the summer as well to his 2.5 jobs. I decided donating plasma was worth 0.5.

So I have to keep myself busy instead... or lazy. I've been pretty lazy mostly, but that's getting old. I should be working out, but I can't seem to do it everyday. I should also be studying for the GRE. I still need to get materials, but once I do I'll have something else to do. My goal as of now is to get into and attend Madison's Speech-Language Pathology graduate program. That'll be nice and expensive. I have always wanted a city adventure like New York or Chicago. That would definitely be too expensive and I turned out to be very rooted at home. Plus Adam will be in Point still and I can't go too far. Madison seems a great compromise since it is half way between my parents and Point and is a much bigger city than I have ever lived in.

Other news... oh I am getting my mom's Taurus to call my own in a few weeks. Mama got a smaller car with better gas milage in a prettier color and I get a car! If only I had had this opportunity before gas was $4 a gallon.

Holly is like 5 months pregnant! With a girl, my 3rd niece. I wish I could see her all wearing maternity pants. Cute. Poor thing is super sick all the time though. Sounds awful... I'm adopting.

What else what else? probably more, but I'm done today I think.

Whats New

Normally when people ask me what's new, I have nothing. But here... I got a life this summer as unnexciting as it may sound to you all.

What's new?

Well I'm officially hired! I start at the Burlington Pick'n'Save in the Deli tomorrow at 8 AM. I work 8-3 learning all about the skills needed in the local deli. Yes I will be packing meat and wrapping sausage... so you may all stop asking. I hope I don't lose any limbs to the slicer. SCARY!

The Musical I'm in, Dear World, opens Thursday, July 14 at 7:30 PM and runs for three weeks Thursday - Saturday 7:30 PM and Sundays 2:00 PM at the Malthouse Theater in Burlington. If you want to come see it, call my house (262) 767-0601 and let us know when you want to come and how many tickets you need. We'll get 'em for ya, no problem. I'll check on the price, but you know it's worth it :O)

Went to Eisenhower's graduation to see my girls walk across that rickety platform... yeah fun. But it was great to see all of them. Brownie left us the very next day for Camp Eagle Ridge and will be gone ALLLLL summer. I won't be too deprived though since next year she'll be a fellow Pointer! YAY! Been hanging out with Kathryn, Erica, and Aleks as much as possible. Slept over at Aleks' last night and went to Tuckaway Country Club today where I absolutely fried... but I still love summer lazin' by the pool.

Looking forward to... Something Corporate and Story of the Year being at Summerfest, Kelley's mom's wedding on Saturday, earning some money, this sunburn healing into a sexy tan, Shanon's visit, and moviong back to school.

Yeah... I miss all you Pointers a ton! I'd be willing to have classes to be back in Point. Can't wait for Shanon to come all the way from Spooner to stay with me for a while. Also, HOPEFULLY getting together with all the Stiener girls up at Ashley's cabin and spending a day at Noah's Ark (which I have never been to.)

It has been nice seeing the family though. My Granddad and great uncle, Fred, visited a few weeks ago from North Carolina. That was really nice since thi is the first year I think since I've been alive that we're not going to NC. Damn, I miss the beach. Ah well, its been georgeous here!

I also have been spending time with my mom and dad. My dad is about fully recovered from his heart surgery and is going in for hip replacement on Monday. I'll be helping out at home... speaking of which I'm so behind in my chores this week that along with working all day tomorrow, I get to come home to yard work and vaccuuming. Damn procrastination.

Well... thats what's new. It's boring, but it's part of my life... Anchorman? ok, I tried.

Ooo! Saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind this week. Great movie. I reccomend it.

Night all. I gotta work at 8.

It must be Summer

It must be summer since I found the time to write in this thing again and am bored enough to do so.

I need a job. I really wanted to waitress since I thought I could make the most money that way. However, my parents have decided that since I didn't get a job in the first three days of summer, I must not care enough about money. They decided to take away something I care about more: people. This entire week I have not left Burlington or spent time with anyone besides my family. (I did get to New Berlin to see Erica and Kristin today only because I didnt ask permission to go). We'll see how that goes in the morning. Back to jobs... I really would do anything that doesn't involve a deep-fryer. It's hard to get a job when you can only work for a few months and have three years of experience as a nanny. No one thinks that counts, but why don't they f-ing try it?! Hoping to hear from the Charcoal Grill and the great Pick'n'Save. Keep your fingers crossed.

My Dad's surgery went really well and was very successful. Thanks everyone for thinking of us. He can't drive for a few more days, so I et the truck, but I only use it to do his errands because he can't leave the house. I've been helping a lot around the house lately. Yard work, dishes, shopping, filling my dad's perscriptions, taking my brother 2.5 hours away and back... fun stuff.

I did do one thing for myself. I tried out for a musical at the Burlington Community Theater. It's called "Dear World" and is about businessmen wanting to dig for oil in Paris... riiiiight. It's not the best show ever, but it'll be so nice to be on stage again. That's one thing from high school I REALLY miss. I play one of the three "madwomen." Yeah my rep in the high school drama department for playing someone either old or crazy stands. I'm both old AND crazy in this one. I blame it on being tall (at least the old part.) I can't be the young love interest of these little middle/high school boys who are all at least 7'' shorter than me. It should be a fun part and I have a couple of short solos and a lot of funny lines. Ironically, I play the worldly madwomen with tons of ex-lovers and I make fun of this real-life middle aged mother for being a virgin. I don't really know what the director was thinking, but even if the lines aren't funny, the audience may enjoy that. The people in it seem pretty cool. If the middle school boys could learn to look at women in the face when they speak, we'd be golden. Who knows... maybe I'll make a friend in Burlington. One girl actually was a freshman at Point this past year too! Crazy. Too bad she's transfering to Milwaukee next year.

Not being allowed to leave, I've discovered all sorts of things about Burlington. You may be disappointed to learn that there is no coat factory here! I know... I was also appalled. There IS however a Nestle chocolate factory. Too bad they no longer give tours or free chocolate. The town does feature a quaint downtown with some pretty good, fairly cheap restaurants, a mini movie theater, and a top museum (yeah the spinny toy). I'm all about checking that out in my spare time... riiiight. This weekend Burlington's 19th anual Chocolatefest took place. Sounds great right? and I'm sure it would be if I was a middle-schooler here... with friends. It's basically a carnival with little boothes and rides that costs $6. For your $6, you recieve admission and a bite sized Crunch bar. WOO HOO. The band would have been ok if they hadn't been playing in the beer tent. I was surrounded by beer and couldn't even look at it for too long without feeling guilty standing right next to my mother. Damn it smelled good though. Ugh... AND it was Miller Light! I thought it might at least be funny to watch people in the chocolate eating contest, but for some reason a middle aged country band was at the scheduled location. It was worth my mom's $6 for the fireworks though. (even if we could have seen them from my house) I love fireworks so much. I think unexpected fireworks are one of the most romantic things ever, and planned ones kick ass too! Eventually, we walked home, cold and without chocolate or a beer buzz.

By far my best Burlington discovery is Echo park. If I had friends, I would hang out at Echo park with them. There's a sand volleyball court, Echo lake, the Fox River, a cool dam, a playground, picknick/grilling places, and great paths. The paths and the river are the best since one of my all-time favorite activities is walking... especially at night! I love the peace and clarity of it. It's something I can do by myself or with people. Either way it's intimate because all you can do is think and talk. Too bad my mother forbid me to go there at night ever! Come on! The most threatening things at the park were the frickin geese.

One more thing before bed... I remember now why I was so much fatter in High School. How much free pasta and ice cream can a girl handle? I guess we'll find out.

Night all. I miss you... all of you!

Who knows?

Do you ever get the feeling like there's no right answer? No propper thing to say? No secret to success at all? Maybe some people are just lucky. Maybe it's all chance. Well, my question is: What are my chances?

Well, that's not my only question.

Things just seem so far away from me. I can't grasp the subjects that continue to effect my life. I have no understanding of them, no control over them at all. My mind can mull them over forever, and I still cannot even begin to comprehend. Life experience is lacking.

But that's the adventure of it all, isn't it? I mean, if I understood it already my life would be so simple and easy, but basically over. I hope I never know everything. Why then, would I continue to live?

But it would be damn convenient to have a fucking answer.

Who knows?

Winter Break

So, this whole being "home" for a month thing has its clear ups and downs. I miss people from Point so much, but one the rare occasion I get to see my dear New Berlin friends it is so so worth it being "home." (home is in quotations because my parents built a house far from the one i grew up in, and almost anywhere feels more homey than that place)

Well, let's start with some highlights: New Year's Eve at Lauren's house was really great because as soon as I saw everybody again, I felt glad to be back for the first time. (That's right, Christmas kind of sucked this year. I just couldn't get into the spirit...) I also had a great time hanging out with Nemo, Kay, and Brownie (that's Erica, Kathryn, and Amanda for most of you). Good talks. Then of course my birthday pretty much rocked (except for the Packers losing). The surprise party by Kelley and Roxy was amazing and you should stop by my dorm sometime and see the awesome card they made. Then of course there was tonight, which was histarical fun in Downtown Milwaukee. (we regressed from dancing at a club that has been closed all year, to settling a fight in a dark alley with a rock-paper-scissors tournament, to being turned out of a bar, to showing up at a closed restaurant, to eating gross doughnuts while a homeless man predicted our futures at a 24 hr. Dunk'n Doughnuts, to just chillin at Kelley's house) We'll try a new/open club tomorrow.

Ok. So living here has also been downright shitty at times. I've spent ridiculous amounts of time playing Hearts and Solitaire on my computer when no one's online. My parents are in control of basically everything I do because they have the cars. If they know where, what, who, when, how, size, color, shape, atomic mass, and ending time... I can do whatever I want... as long as I'm home by dark. Ok. It's not always quite that bad. But sometimes...

I am looking forward to some things. Tonight, we're trying a new night club in Milwaukee that should be great. Saturday, I get to go up to Appleton to dance and see some friends from Point. So far, it's just Kenzie, Steph, and I, but I hope Britt, Em, and Jay come too.

Don't think I hate it here. My mom especially has tried so hard to make it great here for me. My feet don't hang off the end of my new queen size bed, the basement appartment is progressing nicely, and my mom stays up late just to hang out with me even though she works early. It's been great seeing her everyday. Both my parents. And I really do miss my cats at school. While many will argue that cats dont care at all about anyone, mine are simply sweet and loving. And yes, they run up to you when you've been gone all day, bring you toys to play with them, and jump into your lap just to cuddle. My lump of a turtle actually doesn't care, but she did eat that egg I made for her. It must be love. I also love real food, and not hitting the ceiling every morning, and not fighting gravity to exhaustion just to take a nap in the lofts. So home has its strong points.

Either way, I want to go back to school. Next semester is going to be great. I just know. Even though it'll be more work and i'll have way more to do, and I won't be able to use the fact that I'm just a little freshman as an excuse for getting away with stuff, it's going to be great. One more week...

Legal

Hey, I'm officially an adult. So... there are a lot of new things I'm allowed to do. Although I doubt I'll do many of them, I have been thinking about a tatoo for some time. I really want a cute little pineapple just inside my left hip. That's what I'm thinking for now anyways. (I wonder how long it will take for my mother to revive, call, and start begging me not to defile my body...)

Again, officially legal. So... you all know what that means... No more calling me "Jailbait!" Ok, so that may never stop, but it will be undeserved from now on.

So, I wake up on my birthday, and my mom and I drive to Kohler, WI to the American Hotel. We eat the coolest brunch ever, check in, and head over to the Kohler Water Spa. After more checking in we change into these spa robes and sandals and check it all out. The pool was not as heated as we had hoped, but the waterfall was cool. The cold plunge was out of our league crazy. The sauna was nice for me, but too hot for my mom, and the steam room... oh let me tell you. Scariest place I have ever been. I was so hot and wet in there that it felt like you were drowning while you were breathing. Then there's this huge shower head on the ceiling that really reminds me of a Nazi death camp. All of a sudden, steam starts pouring out of a vent in the floor, and we ran for our lives. FREAKY. The hot tub was nice and realaxing at least. Then it was time for our spa treatments. I got this body exfoliation that was really cool. Basically they poured hot oil on me, scrubbed me with salts, showered off, wrapped me in a water bed, then massaged. That was great. Then I got a facial after that. I didnt really want to leave, but the Packer game was coming on. We go back to the hotel, order pizza, and watch the Packers lose. Oh well, I predicted that one. We got all dressed up for dinner and had the best meal everin the hotel restaurant. A surprise cake came and finished off the huge meal with style. We spent the night and came home the next day after checking out the Kohler bathroom and kitchen displays. At home, I celebrated with both my parents with my mom's homemade lasanga and my dad's chocolate cake. Then, the doorbell rang, and it was a bunch of my closest friends with tons of food, cake, and a giant card. They are so sweet. It was the best surprise party ever.

Well, I still haven't used my being 18 for anything. No porn shopping, credit cards, voting, cigarettes, or being tried as an adult yet. The tatoo is still up there on the list. We'll see...

New

As much as I tried not to let it, change happened again. In fact, it keeps on happening all the time. So I thought I'd get a fresh blog to write in with no formal format or especially deep musings. Just my thoughts. Feel free to share yours.

My life has changed dramatically recently (as those of you who know me already realize.) I love living in Point. My freedom has become so important to me. I love the feeling of waking up and knowing that what I do with each and every second of my day is up to me. It is a feeling like I have never experienced before, and for the brief times it is taken away (visits home mainly) it is really a test. Having never before experiencing freedom, I lived in ignorant bliss, but now, having it taken away, once had, is more torture than I have ever known.

Ok. Enough with the drama. But I do love college life.

Home for a month. I'll be "jailbait" no longer as of Sunday, January 9th. Mama and I are going to the American Club Spa. Yay. I'll be old enough to smoke, gamble, buy porn, have sex, and probably a bunch of other stuff I don't do. Hey, can I get a hotel room, or is that 21? Again, it doesn't really apply as I have no money or means of transportation. Anyways, I'll be 18, but will probably not ever escape the nickname "jailbait." Oh well, it's endearing in a way??? Well, maybe not but at least I know I'm wanted. ;)

So, that's all for now I guess. Oh, but if you are an Olive Garden lover like me, try the stuffed shells with shrimp. (DAMN!) I think it could replace all other foods.

PS: if anybody gets pink eye from me, I'm so so sorry! (sucks)

Hey update, on the whole pink eye thing. Turns out I only had pink eye for like three days. Then, m eyes were being awful because I was allergic to the pink eye medicine. Well, it only took a month, but I should be all normal again now... yay! Stupid doctors (two gave me the allergic stuff before a third told me just to stop using it)